“How was your experience in men’s underwear?” The email asked. “Were you a) delighted with your purchase b) kind of giddy c) blasé d) not so giddy or e) totally disenfranchised? Your immediate response is requested.” This was about the tenth follow-up I had received from recent shopping excursions. Seems like every time I buy […]
A gastroenterologist is a doctor whose techniques nowadays include inserting an endoscopic light down into people’s intestines. One member of that elite community recently wrote a book about his work, entitled, The Tunnel at The End of The Light. If I may say so, the whole process of eating, digestion, and elimination is one that […]
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My favorite Famous Last Words seem special to me not only because of the speaker (a President of the United States) but also because of the circumstances in which they were uttered. Here we might pause, and ask ourselves if we can recall the last words of ANY US President, whether or not still President. […]
We’ve all heard the expression “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” – and, if pressed for an origin, we’d probably say “it’s something out of the Bible.” But, as far as I can determine, those exact words don’t occur in any accepted version of the Bible. What we do find, in […]
Most of us are familiar with the term “The Rat Race,” and we probably have an idea that it derives from scientific experiments in which rats were, and possibly still are, raced against each other, especially in mazes. What was it all about? What was it meant to prove? Whatever the answers, some things are […]
(Read more humorous adventures in Ernie’s travel book: “Where are Pat and Ernie Now?” available at Chaucer’s.) I’m always suspicious of someone trying to sell me something. Which is odd because I used to be in retail. “I’m not sure I need the latest Kodak Instamatic 60.” “Comes with a free flash cube.” “I’ll take […]
An old Chinese adage says, “A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step” – to which I have added my own piece of wisdom: “So, to save 1,000 miles, don’t take that step.” For some reason, humans and birds are the principal creatures which walk on two legs – I have been privileged […]
Until some time in the recent past, the term “Software,” if it was used at all, probably referred to linens and drapes and other such “soft” merchandise, as opposed to the tools, building-materials, etc., which you would find in the “Hardware” section of a department store. But the Computer Era changed all that. It started […]
The question before the Montecito Sanitary District (MSD) Board and its Montecito community of ratepayers is whether or not it is a good idea to spend nearly $6 million in ratepayer funds to build an office building for three employees and a receptionist. On the surface, spending $6 million on an office building for four […]
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The United Nations Charter of Human Rights guarantees everyone a nationality – whether they want one or not. In “HMS Pinafore” (Gilbert & Sullivan) the Chorus sings the praises of being English: “For he might have been a Rooshan A French or Turk or Prooshan, Or perhaps Eye-tal-eye-an – But, in spite of all temptations […]
Turn right,” Jeeves, our Garmin GPS told us. Right would have taken us over the cliff. “Jeeves is lost,” I said. “Swell,” Pat, who was driving, said. We were trying to get back to the tiny Tuscan village of Castiglione d’Orcia where we were renting an Airbnb just inside the Porta, the entrance into the […]
How can anybody own anything? The most popular methods are: by Law, by Custom, or by Force. And often they’re combined. But we all know that, ultimately, none of this makes any real sense, and that, in the broadest perspective, nobody can ever own anything. Take our bodies, for example – and surely that must […]
Ever since Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden for taking a bite out of the “Big Apple,” men and women have been arguing over who is smarter, stronger, and the most trustworthy. So, let’s examine some of those traits. Intelligence Men and women seem to be equal in general intelligence (IQ […]
Cold?” Jackie pointed at the overhead heaters in the solarium ceiling on the back of the Alaskan ferry, Columbia. “With those things on the other night I felt like a French fry.” We had met Jackie earlier at breakfast. It was so crowded we had to sit at the counter. A young construction guy beside […]
