Tag archives: grief

The past 12 months felt heavy with our son’s upcoming departure for university. The marathon of applications, studying, testing and waiting finally gave way to victories; getting into a college he loved, Prom, Graduation, and senior trips. Then, the final days of summer arrived. And while he will always have a home here, my daughter […]

Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is back brightening up the holidays with its annual Light Up a Life series of events spanning Montecito, Carpinteria, Goleta, and Santa Barbara within the span of a week or so. These events bring people together to remember and honor loved ones who might be particularly missed during December’s festivities. […]

We all carry grief – whether from personal loss, ancestral wounds or the sorrows of the world. When grief remains unexpressed, it can weigh heavily on our bodies, hearts, and spirits. Many of us express our grief in solitude – or not at all. But in community, people can create a safe and sacred space […]

For the 7th year, the lives of the 23 Montecito residents who lost their lives in the 2018 mudslides were honored in a solemn ceremony, Raising Our Light, on Thursday, January 9, outside in the Montecito Union School parking lot.  There, with the Montecito Fire Department Engine as backdrop, was the podium for the speakers […]

In the wake of the devastating L.A. fires, it seems an especially poignant moment to pause and take time to reflect on our relationship with the land. For Alexis Slutzky, MA, MFT, a longtime local who works as a mentor, facilitator and educator in a wide variety of depth-oriented practices with a focus on cultivating […]

It shouldn’t be necessary to do this, but I feel the time has come when somebody needs to say something against grief and grieving. Lately these topics have been getting a very positive consideration in the relevant journals. The word has gone out far and wide from highly qualified experts that, at least in certain […]

Montecito’s free Light Up a Life event is fast approaching, set for the evening of December 5th. Hosted by Hospice Santa Barbara – the second oldest hospice organization in the country, and one which provides free services to people for as long as they need it – Light Up a Life is back to offer […]

On a lark, Michael and Gabriella Salsbury walked into Madame Rosinka’s fortune-telling shopfront on Stearns Wharf in Santa Barbara. Rudderless and adrift on the open ocean of unspeakable parental sorrow, the couple were emphatically not looking to Madame Rosinka for the answers that had otherwise so eluded them. The Salsburys were not seekers after the […]

I recently had an email exchange with a man who was interested in renting our vacation home for a stay with his grown sons. His wife had died the week before and as she loved the beach, he felt it would be a wonderful way to honor her. I offered what I hoped were words […]

Shortly after I got married, my 64-year-old mother lost her battle with breast cancer. Seven years later my father joined her. The loss isn’t any less painful just because you are a grown-up. I was 39 and an orphan.  It sounds strange to say it that way, but that was how it felt. “Untethered,” was […]

In hard times, delivering comfort in a pan is a family tradition When death comes knocking, my Italian family goes to the kitchen. As early as I can remember, whenever a family member was infirm or passed away, an imaginary bell would ring and someone – usually a family elder – would go into the […]

A Lesson in Loss It’s important to tell those we love how much they mean to us – don’t wait. It was another death along the train tracks in Montecito as we waited anxiously for further details and circumstances. Then we heard it was a local hair stylist. That was upsetting. And then the unfathomable […]

In the Times of Dis-Ease I am generally described as a cheerful person who tends toward optimism. But lately I find myself lingering over any mention of grief or fear or loss. Rather than turning away and protecting myself… I find that I am, in the face of this pandemic, turning toward the dark, unpleasant […]

By his own admission, Dave Mochel was a victim of restlessness, boredom, frustration, anxiety, fear, and anger and suffered such debilitating anxiety in his mid-20s that he could barely leave the house. Now he runs Applied Attention, a Carpinteria-based mindfulness consulting company that teaches people simple and powerful practices to focus thoughts in ways that […]

Attending this weekend’s Nonviolent Communication Conference at SBCC School of Extended Learning’s Wake Center won’t make you an expert in personal development nor a perfect practitioner of the method of relating designed to create connection instead of conflict. But the immersive three-day conference is chock full of lectures and workshops where participants will have plenty […]

Jodie Hollander grew up in a musical family, and that is a largish understatement. Concert pianist father, cellist mother, two sibs each with the gift of drawing effortless gossamer from the violin; dinner conversation ran to the rhapsodic. Now imagine Jodie – a young girl whose double helix would later reveal itself as a ladder […]

It might be obvious to state that Thanksgiving week could be the perfect time to launch a gratitude practice. The holiday stress can be greatly reduced by remembering all that we are grateful for in our lives. But research and plenty of anocdotal evidence has indicated that a daily practice of not only taking note […]

Grief is a given in this life and a natural part of the human experience, but many people refuse to allow themselves to dive fully into their sadness, and definitely not in public. Yet many other cultures throughout time have processed grief in community; its expression is a casualty of our modern times. Alexis Slutzky […]