Tag archives: humorist
There are eight million stories in the naked city, but only 8,600 or so in our own sun-soaked jungle, baby. How do I know this? Because I’m your town crier, baby; your chronicler, your truth-teller and tour guide to the dark underbelly of this coiled serpent we call Montecito. Me? You never saw me, you […]
Okay, my version probably won’t do well on the hip-hop music charts, but I think it will resonate with some readers on the hip-lumbar charts. It all started one morning at breakfast when my wife said: “My back is killing me.” Being a sympathetic guy, I suggested she call the police and report a sacroiliac […]
Except for the overly loud, vapor-spewing Southwest jets, flying-lesson prop planes doing multiple touch-and-goes, and that obnoxious Osprey that sounds like two helicopters in a weird sexual entanglement, it’s nice being close to Santa Barbara Airport. Even though we had a 6:23 am flight, we knew we could be at the airport in less than […]
Watching the Paris Olympics has really inspired me, especially the swimming and diving events. “O-M-G! Are you wearing a Speedo?” my wife asked, a small hunk of baguette falling from the corner of her mouth. “Cool huh? Got it from the ‘Old Dudes Rule’ website. It’s a limited edition.” “Very limited. And, I hate to […]
That surely can’t be it I thought, as we walked across the tarmac toward a Volkswagen Beetle on skis with a long purple tail and a spinning propeller on top! Oh, and NO doors! I looked at Pat. She was zipping up her sweatshirt and adjusting the flotation device strapped around her waist… “We will […]
Many times in life I have gone virtually unnoticed. Not only could I stay safely under the radar, I could have set up camp inside a radar dish and only gotten spotted when I fired up my charcoal grill. “O. M. G. There’s a flaming meteor about to hit earth… ah crap, never mind it’s […]
One of the most famous of all historical events was the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 B.C. The killers were a group of men whom Caesar had considered his friends and supporters. The leader of this conspiracy, whose name was Brutus, is said to have been the last to deliver the fatal blow. And […]
