Nicholas Proctor Palonen: April 10, 1981 – May 31, 2023
Nicholas Proctor Palonen, beloved son, brother, husband, and father, was welcomed into the world by his parents, Marjorie and Craig Palonen, on April 10, 1981, in Santa Barbara, California. From that day forward, he became an indispensable part of a loving family, joining his older brother, Tye, on countless childhood adventures — from explorations of the local creek to video game battles, to travel escapades in far flung corners of the world. Throughout his life, Nick regarded his elder brother, Tye, with deep respect and admiration. These two little towheaded boys, the forever light and joy for Craig and Marjorie.
Nick’s unexpected departure on May 31 has cast a profound shadow of grief over those who loved him. The loss of this remarkable young man has left us grappling with a sadness that feels insurmountable. Nick was the epitome of patience, compassion, and kindness, extending profound empathy towards all, especially those wrestling with life’s struggles.
At the time of his passing, Nicholas was a dedicated Behavior Therapist at Robert Bruce School in Santa Maria. His colleagues, students, and their parents highly praised his innate ability to connect with the special needs children he counseled, tutored, and comforted. Standing tall at 6’6”, Nick nevertheless created a nurturing atmosphere for his students, where his gentle manner made them feel secure and cherished. He was incredibly dedicated to his work and looked forward to each new day at the school, knowing he was making a significant difference in the lives of his students. His own life, marked by challenges and triumphs, had significantly influenced his choice of career as a Behavioral Therapist.
Following his three years of honorable service in the U.S. Army, with stations at Ft. Story, Virginia, and a stint in Kuwait, Nick obtained a B.A. in liberal studies from Antioch. He then dedicated his skills and empathy to various mental health service groups in Santa Barbara and the north county. He guided individuals with mental health issues, teaching life skills and providing cognitive/behavioral therapy and trauma-related counseling.
Nick’s education years at Cold Spring School, Santa Barbara Middle School, and Dos Pueblos High School were formative in managing his challenges with ADHD. He found great joy and success in the theater department at Santa Barbara Middle School, showcasing an extraordinary talent for memorization. His striking stature made him unforgettable in his portrayal of the iconic Frankenstein. Nick continued to embrace theater arts in high school and at SBCC, even journeying to London to experience the magic of theater on the global stage.
At Dos Pueblos High School, Nick chose the discipline of Kenpo Karate over the beckoning call of the basketball and football coaches. He advanced to the rank of brown belt, falling just short of black due to an unfortunate ankle injury. His father, Craig, supported him in this endeavor, faithfully driving him to the Wushu studio every Saturday, followed by their customary lunch at Stacky’s in Summerland.
After serving his country, Nick returned to Santa Barbara and met Nikki Coll, the woman who would become the love of his life. Their bond was unmistakable, and Nick was clearly smitten. Their engagement was celebrated, and Nikki’s compassionate, kind, and beautiful spirit was a welcome addition to the family. Their beautiful wedding in 2011 was held in the garden of Nick’s family home.
Their joy multiplied with the birth of their cherished son, Phoenix Steven Palonen. Nick was a doting father who reveled in play with Phoenix, engaging in lively debates over character roles during their plush toy games. His love for Nikki was further enriched by their shared passion for their home in Lompoc, where they were and are surrounded by a supportive community of families and friends.
Nick’s legacy is one of love, compassion, service, and a remarkable capacity to connect with those in need. He will be forever remembered and deeply missed by all those whose lives he touched.
Nicholas is survived by his wife, Nikki, son Phoenix, mother Marjorie, brother Tye and his family, mother-in-law and father-laws Michael and Pam Patrella and Tom and Ken Coll-Boulet and all the extended family of the Palonens, and Patrellas, and the Coll-Boulets. Nick’s father, Craig Steven Palonen predeceased him in 2020.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Robert Bruce School, 601 W. Alvin Ave. Santa Maria, CA 93458. Thank you.
