Perspective and Positivity: The Dynamic Duo We All Need

The other day I was working with a client who has been battling debilitating insomnia as a side effect of a chronic illness. As part of our check-in, I asked her how she had been sleeping since I had last seen her. “Well, last night I only got about six hours,” she replied. “Six hours!?” I rejoiced. “That is amazing.” Over the last few months her average sleep total was hovering around the three-hour mark, so this was incredible news. I didn’t feel her enthusiasm matching my own, so I dusted off my training from when I was an associate therapist and let her set the tone for the rest of our session. 

She proceeded to share that that she needs at least seven to eight hours of sleep in order to feel awake and refreshed. She told me she was initially excited by the six hours until her husband reminded her that she doesn’t function well on less than seven. 

There it was. Right there. 

The dissenting voice of another and the shift in perspective. I donned my most curious and therapeutic voice and asked, “I wonder what it would be like for you to view those six hours of sleep through the exhausted eyes of someone who not too long ago was only getting three.” We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes and then she laughed. “Yes, that me would have considered six hours a huge victory.” This wasn’t about the health benefits of seven to nine hours of sleep. This was about her being able to greet her accomplishment with the joy it deserved. And to reap the emotional rewards of this acknowledgment.

Start each day thinking
of one thing you are looking forward to. End each night
by thinking of something
you are thankful for.

People have been studying the health benefits of positive thinking for years, but for so long it was considered “fringe” or “juju” – only to have it borne out that things like gratitude practices have significant physiological benefits. Why, then, do we not naturally think positively? Why do our minds often go to the worst-case scenario, or as I call it, to The Dark Side? 

According to The Menninger Clinic (a top ranked psychiatric clinic in Houston), “Our brains are wired for survival, not happiness. This is known as ‘The Negativity Bias,’ the tendency to focus more on negative events and threats than on positive ones.” Of course, the evolutionary purpose of this has its roots in the good old “fight, flight, or freeze.” If we perceive danger, our stress hormones get triggered, and all that powerful adrenaline can help us (attempt to) flee from the saber-tooth tiger. However, our body does not distinguish between negative thoughts and a perceived threat, so chronic negativity can lead to chronic illness as our body does not respond well to operating in the continual state of a stress response.

According to the Amen Clinics (mental health clinics founded by author and psychiatrist, Dr. Daniel Amen), “…negative thinking is one of the biggest culprits in keeping you trapped in a cycle of suffering.” They go on to explain that “those who score higher on the negativity bias, have an increased risk of chronic pain.” That is, the way we perceive our situation – and our pain – has a direct effect on the pain itself. 

You know when you have a sore throat, you wish the sore throat would go away? But when you don’t have a sore throat, you aren’t walking around thinking, “Wow, I am so glad I don’t have a sore throat”? Well, maybe we should. 

Psychology Today (July 3, 2024) reports that in addition to the myriad mental health benefits, “Research indicates that optimists often exhibit stronger immune systems, which can help defend against illnesses and infections more effectively. Additionally, maintaining a positive outlook has been linked to lower blood pressure levels, reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease such as heart attacks and strokes (Kubzanksy et al., 2018).”

The knock-on effect (a secondary, indirect, or cumulative effect) of this is profound. Those who have a positive outlook tend to make healthier lifestyle choices, engage in more social activity, and have lower levels of depression. And here’s a big one: a positive outlook can improve your health prognosis. There is so much interesting data continuing to emerge on this subject. Recently Johns Hopkins Medicine Journal reported, “People with a family history of heart disease who also had a positive outlook were one-third less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a more negative outlook.” That is staggering. One-third less likely just from their positivity?

But positive thinking, like brushing your teeth or watching too much Netflix, is a habit that needs to be consistent to have the most impact. Depending on where you land on the Susie Sunshine Spectrum, your practice will begin differently; but here are a few tips to get your started.

1. Be realistic. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure so start with attainable goals. 

2. Try simply reframing negative thoughts. “I’m not good at this” can become “I am working on getting better.”

3. Start each day thinking of one thing you are looking forward to. End each night by thinking of something you are thankful for.

4. Be sure to get some time outside each day. Feet in the grass, fresh air, look at greenery.

5. Help someone else. Kindness towards others naturally increases your feelings of self-esteem. And it just feels good.

In the meantime, turn that frown upside down. You will thank me later.