The Sound of Silence: Montecito Retreats Access the Peace Inside

Bruce Davis wrote his first book, The Magical Child Within You, back in the mid-1970s, in the process penning one of the earliest works exploring how accessing the inner child can lead to greater peace. It was the start of a lifetime journey into meditation and stillness.

“Once you start rediscovering your inner child, you discover your original sense of wonder and imagination and joy,” said Davis, who earned a doctorate degree in psychology from Saybrook University. “That led me more and more into a spiritual realm.”

Less than a decade later, Davis began leading guided retreats around the world, with an eventual focus on silence, simplicity, and heartfulness. Bruce and his wife and partner, Ruth, founded the Assisi Retreat Center in Italy, which was named one of the Top 10 Meditation Centers in the World by both CNN and Travel & Leisure Magazine. In 2012, Davis returned to the United States to open Silent Stay Meditation Center as a mountaintop retreat center in Vacaville, about 50 miles northeast of San Francisco.

Hundreds attended regular silent retreats at the center, finding how being quiet outside with nothing to do or say leads to gentleness and a quiet mind.

But when the center burned to the ground in the Napa Fire of 2020, the Davises moved south to Santa Barbara with the commitment to recreate that same serenity on the California coast.

The new Silent Stay Retreat Center opened three years ago on the Ladera Lane campus of Pacific Graduate Institute, a 35-acre site nestled in the Montecito hillside with views of the mountains and the ocean.

“It’s a beautiful place, with a lot of space for walks and solitude, hiking trails, and a sanctuary,” Davis said.

The Davises lead three-night, two-day silent retreats between five and seven weekends each year, attracting seekers from around California, the country, and beyond. The ritual begins as soon as participants arrive at Pacifica, where they are instructed to leave their mobile phones in the car.

“There’s a period of being a little bit uncomfortable at giving up your normal daily habits – phones, news, all this stuff that keeps us busy,” Davis said. “We invite them right away to come into the peace and quiet inside. It’s a big letting go, but they slowly find gentleness and peace and quiet inside.”

The leaders – Bruce, Ruth, and his daughter Nicole Becker – meet three times a day with the participants, with the rest of the time open for introspection, journaling, walking, exploring the gardens or otherwise connecting with nature, being with others in community, or simply sitting in silence.  

“We lead meditations beginning the first evening with specific ways to bring their attention to receiving inner peace and letting go of the noise inside and receive from the softness of their own heart, as much as they can,” Davis said. Techniques include awareness, yoga, movement, and intentional breathing, with every session beginning with at least 30 minutes of meditation.

The retreats parallel one of Davis’ other books called Monastery Without Walls, geared toward “all of us who would like to have a monastic part of our lives, but aren’t going to join a monastery. You don’t have to take vows to start to satisfy your hunger for inner peace and quiet.” 

The benefits of even a 48-hour retreat can be significant. 

“Studies have shown that three days of silence is equivalent to three months of meditation in terms of how the brain can change,” Davis said. “You can have results right away.” 

Retreat participants have the run of the Pacifica campus over the weekend, as only essential staff are present, with full meals prepared onsite and served and enjoyed in silence. 

“With everything going on in the world these days, people really need a few days just to let it all go and come back to their own quiet inside,” Davis said. “Just unplug completely and discover who you are, which is a beautiful process. It’s like medicine.” 

The next Silent Stay retreat at Pacifica takes place December 5-7, with registration through November 29. Future retreats are slated for February, April, July, and September.

For those not ready to commit to a weekend, or anyone simply wanting a sensory and communal experience with the leaders, the Davises – who live in a home across the street from Pacifica – offer free weekly meditations on Sundays on Zoom. The 30-minute practice, which started during the pandemic, has a few minutes of instruction followed by 25 minutes of silence before a brief reconnection in community. Previous meditations are available on their YouTube page. 

“It’s about finding that spiritual practice that works for you,” Davis said.  

Visit https://silentstay.com.