Communal Table: The Importance of Connection

A few months ago, I attended a Talkcast at Jane Restaurant downtown. According to Jane Chapman, founder and co-host, “Talkcast is a podcast club” that meets at Jane on the third Wednesday each month.

I had heard about these women-only events before, but whenever I went to buy a ticket, they were always sold out. This time I wasn’t going to be left behind! The minute they announced it, my BFF and I scored our tickets with fists of victory pumping in the air. It was there that I first connected with Chapman and Dr. Diana Hill (frequent collaborator on Talkcast).

The first one I attended was about helping to overcome movement blocks. Dr. Hill had pre-arranged to have a guest do a live play “psychodrama” as she refers to it, which helps to uncover the block itself and aid the subject in seeing it in a new light. It was very moving and honest, and the small room of women was supportive and kind. Right there, in that moment, I realized I had been missing group events. Women’s groups like these, yes, but other kinds as well that had been taken away during COVID and that I somehow never replenished. Group fitness classes, girls’ weekends away, lectures at UCSB. I needed people!

At the end of the evening, I introduced myself to Dr. Hill and said I would be interested in coming to the Talkcast she had mentioned on creative blocks as I have been “blocked” (more like chronically constipated) on my novel for over a year. Her face lit up and she asked if I would be the subject for it. I must have had a glass of wine, because I agreed. And last week, it happened. I was the subject. I was the psychodrama. 

It was an intimate group of around 15 women, and we talked about the very essence of creativity, how it plays a role in so many aspects of our lives, and we all shared little bits of ourselves. When it came time for me to go up with Dr. Hill and tell my story, we were all a bit surprised by how it unfolded. There were tears! Mostly mine, of course, as I untangled the blocks I was having with the story and the blocks I was having personally. It was crazy cool, and I truly believe that it was as much due to the supportive nature of these women (most of whom were previously strangers to me) as to Dr. Hill’s prowess at her profession.

This got me thinking. What was it about this night, about these events, that made it so easy for me to basically have a live and very public therapy session? I think it has something to do with why Chapman started these in the first place, “I started Talkcast a few years after launching Communal Table to widen the access to presence-based conversations in our community. I wanted to create an approachable on-ramp to connection.”

Talkcast is a monthly meetup at Jane where a guest facilitator leads a conversation on a specific topic and engages in some form of interaction with the audience. Communal Table is a bit smaller (usually 8-12 guests) and has a pre-arranged topic that you discuss over a shared meal at either someone’s home, a winery or wherever their Table lands. 

After the event, I spoke with Chapman and asked her to share her favorite parts of Talkcast and its sister event, Communal Table, which is now approaching its 5^th anniversary, and this is what she shared: “My absolute favorite part of Communal Table and Talkcast is the quality of presence we create and experience at our events. The conversations are high vibe and the lingering feeling of authentically connecting with the incredible women here in our community nourishes my spirit to the max. The women who join Communal Table events inspire me each and every time, truly they are the greatest gift and the best part.”

How much does any of this really matter? 

Well, according to the Stanford Center on Longevity, a great deal. In fact, “The researchers estimate that having strong and secure relationships not only increases our happiness but also our longevity by roughly 50 percent.” 50 percent? That is just the beginning. Having a strong social network can decrease stress, raise our overall level of happiness and satisfaction and according to The Mayo Clinic’s Dr. Amit Shah, “We hear so much about the risks of obesity and smoking, but loneliness and social isolation are just as much of a health risk.”

But if you are someone who doesn’t have a lot of social connectivity, what are you to do about it? Shah goes on to explain that if you are open and get a bit creative, it might not be as difficult as you think. Here are some of his suggestions. 

1. If you are having hearing issues, get hearing aids! It is one of the main reasons people start self-isolating.

2. Get out of the house. Find your Ikigai (the Japanese concept of your reason for being). Volunteer, read to kids, offer to mentor in a subject you are good at, help socialize foster animals, join a trail cleaning club, you get the idea.

3. Adopt a pet. Pets have been shown to lower blood pressure, improve depression and raise overall life satisfaction. 

4. Take a class. Think of something you have always wanted to learn and go for it. It is also a great way to meet people.

5. Talk to your neighbors. Have a chat by the mailbox. Small connections can lead to larger ones.

We are social beings that need one another. We need to laugh and break bread together (well, in places that eat bread), and throw block parties and share memories and create new ones. We need to be silly and serious, we need to learn and spread knowledge. And sometimes, we need to be a part of a psychodrama that brings us to tears.

I left the night with smeared mascara and at least two new friends, knowing I would be back for more.